It's 1 AM

It's one 'o clock in the morning and I don't even care. I've been up 'till 3 AM the past couple nights so I figure one AM is not so bad. My wife and I have been spending some good quality time together during these late night hours. Our work schedules have been a little different from normal - working really late - so we don't get a lot of time. Or the time we get is a couple hours in the morning and a couple hours at night. So, yeah, anyway, we arranged a place in our house today so she can start doing massage therapy there. And I was kind of falling asleep on the massage table while she was singing to church music. And as I was listening, it was kind of funny really, because, I'm a musician - I don't really "play" an instrument, I actually compose music, so I guess that makes me a composer actually - and so I listen in two ways as she sings. One, the composer, listening for flaws and how to improve the songs. And two, the husband, with such happiness to hear her voice singing praises to our Father in Heaven and our savior Jesus Christ, and I feel this connection of sorts, just hitting me, two fold. Or, rather three fold, composer, husband and Priesthood holder. It was so wonderful. I always hoped my wife could sing. And not only does she sing! But she loves to sing!
Later in the hour, she played one of my favorite songs, which I happened to forget the name - I call it "Armies of Heleman", but I know that's not it - and she was playing the sign language video of the song. It was so beautiful to watch. You can see movies, you can see pictures. You can't "see" music, you can feel it. But to "see" the words translated with the song playing... it was so magically beautiful. The song alone nearly brings tears to my eyes. But this time, I had a tear fall.

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So...

I'd thought I make a quick post since I am trying to revive this blog and all...
I'm extremely happy with my life here. Indeed I am. Why? Because I want to be! That sounds silly, does it not? :-)

I like to be happy. I like to make myself happy and not need anyone or anything to do that. But, the truth is... I do use people and things around me to "make" myself happy. I think about them. The ones I love - my wife and loving family, even my cats... once in a while... :-) - and things! Such silly things as: Video games, comics, movies and great food! But then there are things such as my... well how do you describe this... inspirations? motivations? my awareness or way of being. Such as the teachings of my church, my gospel, the words of the Prophets of old and new. These things, and others like memories of my favorite moments in life; I hold dear and hold them close to me. I keep them just underneath my everyday thoughts at work and play so that I may pull them forward to inspire happiness within myself. I do it so that I may avoid pitfalls. And that I may constantly keep joy within that I may not drag my mind downward to that of places many people sadly are.

I love my life. I control my mind with the best of my abilities. I make life what I want it to be.

I don't know what I wanted to say, really. I just have so many plans. It truly can overwhelm. But it does not. I ... do not let it. Goodnight.

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