a test of my emergency phone blogging system
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// <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 0, 153);">SygLyfe -
A signature of life</span> // (c)
i was just thinking what my life would be like living in illinois near
my girlfriend. I pictured just a glimpse of what it would be, what
she's told me she desires. Very simple things. And i felt a huge burst
of love toward and from her. "Oh my god i love you so much." It was
such a comforting thought.
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// <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 0, 153);">SygLyfe -
A signature of life</span> // (c)
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August 21st, 2:35am in the morning:
I started laughing so hard today in church. I noticed something that I found very funny on the attendance list: “Faces needed for wet sponge throwing booth”. I had to hold back very hard to stop myself from laughing in the middle of Elders quorum and it didn’t help much. Because I showed my brother next to me and he noticed and thought it was funny as well. And whenever I hear someone else laugh it makes me laugh so we were building off of each other and I let out a few bursts of one shot laughs. I had quite a few people look in our direction. It was quite funny. I even heard a few laughs from the other brethren because I suppose they thought it was funny themselves to hear someone laughing and them not knowing what it was that was so funny.
Made with a Windows XP Sony Vaio Notebook.
I’m having issues! I want to go see my friend Cuteness in Illinois. But it turns out that after hours of research on a plane ticket I found out a couple things. One: my mother doesn’t want me to go. And two: I didn’t even have enough money to purchase the ticket!! That’s thanks to my going out and returning my beautiful MacBook PC for this even more beautiful Sony Vaio which is so much better and worth the money I spent over it. But it made me broke! Broke, broke, broke! I don’t like it. But I love the notebook. Even more so now that I am typing on it this very moment in MS Word. I’m really becoming acquainted with the keyboard, which I thought was a piece of crap at first, but it turns out that it is a joy to type with. Now I want to write a novel. I actually feel like I am at this very moment. I’m being very long-winded in this blog. It’s quite fun and partly because I want to type as much as possible.
On the way home from my hectically fun night of church and fun with web caming with friends over the internet. I still haven’t gotten around to testing out my phone-as-modem connection which is something I look forward to very much.
Last night, or last, last night, I talked to Cuteness until it was 5AM her time. Which is two hours later than it is here in Phoenix, Arizona. A beautiful hot state. Anyway, we fell asleep together. Or almost. And a couple funny… well more than a couple… comments were made. She said, after a very long silence of what I thought was her sleeping, (maybe it was, but it’s very difficult to tell the way she goes in and out of the dream state) “This is going to sound weird… *laughs*… but I really like sleeping with you.”
Which clearly seems to be true. Well it’s even true on my side. It’s just somehow enjoyable to fall asleep or to get sleepy with Cuteness. It’s comfortable and I think it has something to do with our special bond we’ve built over this year of friendship building. We have talked a LOT. Almost every single night. Not for an entire year. But, it was quite the majority of the year, indeed. So, we have this comfort of being sleepy with each other. Talking about subjects considered “deep” of thought.
I noticed that as we were talking this last night in a three-way call with Sweetness that she seemed to be hanging on. I was quite surprised because, well, in fact Sweetness seemed to be hanging on as well. I think they wanted to hear me say: “I bought the plane ticket!”. Sadly I was unable to once I realized that I probably didn’t have enough money. But, gratefully I have enough money to pay for my phone bill that is due today. It’s quite expensive and a little ridiculous. But, I love my phone and to me it’s worth every penny. I’m thinking about canceling my subscription to my PCS vision deal. I only watch one of the channels and only once in a while. And when I do, it eats up way too much battery juice.
It’s time for bed.
"It is a man's job to love the hell out of a woman. Not to love the hell in her." -Roy Masters
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
I'm still thinking about visiting my friend in another state. It seems pretty obvious she likes me. I know she does, but I also know that she doesn't want to cloud her mind with thoughts of more than a friendship with an already very good friend.
She offered that once I go out to visit her we will have to go on an official date. Just because it'd be my first, unless I go on one before then, that is. So much for clouding thoughts of our friendship?
I took a "date survey" today in church. It was basic question about what we, as a stake, think of dating. Very simple questions and one of them was about would you be comfortible dating a friend. I put, "Sure, if she's up for it".
At work today I finally got around to some REAL manager work! It was quite fun. It's pretty fun and very interesting how the "manager" / "coworker" relation goes. It's also amazing how I have to remind my fellow employees about simple tasks and obvious things they know they should or should not be doing. Going on a tangent, I love my MacBook. It's so fun to type with. I knew it would be. The keyboard is actually part of the reason I wanted the MacBook over the Pro version.
I'm so tired. I can't imagine how Cuteness feels talking to me every night and staying up two hours later than I because of daylight savings time. It really is no wonder why she zonks out over the phone often. It's quite cute to hear her mumblings about random half dream thoughts about what she thought I said or talk about something that I have no clue what she means because she's responding to the "dream me".
I haven't listened to Roy Masters in a very long time. It's either talk to Cuteness or listen to him. I've chosen Cuteness.
It's raining outside right now. It's so wonderful. I LOVE rain. I love thunder and lightning and wind. It smells so fresh, so fantastic and clean.
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
So, I'm sitting here in a laundry mat with my muhthah. They have cable TV and the place smells nice and has all the ambience of a laundry mat. It's pretty nice. But it doesn't make a good place to start a conversation. My friend, Cuteness txt'd me while she had some time to spare at work - about three hours to spare. So I called her up and we were talking. I was very hungry so she did most of the talking. And by the way I bought a new MacBook laptop and it's fantastic to type with. Very beautiful gentle feel to the keyboard. Not to mention the battery life is very good as well.
The first night I had it I installed the program onto it - the main reason I bought it. And I ended up being highly disappointed, although it was expected since I already knew that the version of Reason I was installing had issues with the latest version. Although all is well because I installed the latest "update" that is compatible with theh new MacBooks and it works flawlessly!
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
Today was a very difficult day at work. I have been officially promoted to Sr.Ass.Man. as of yesterday if i recall correctly. That is abb. :o
Reading the Book of Mormon has never had such meaning as it does now. I came to the understanding that we're to read it daily because as our ...
My manager told me today how greatfull he was that he could acomplish so much because of me. Ain't that cool!? Hehe.:o
I've got the glasses! I've got the shorts! Now i just need the shoes, socks and shirt that make me feel cool and comfy! :o
Hello world! The importance of blogging has been reveiled unto me - aka techno journal!
Music. Videos. Internet. Phone. Games. Camera. Camcorder. Fun! Fun! Fun!
My phone is the friggan coolest device i've owned besides a computer!
Just when i vote off all girls who smoke...i c a girl who has such physical beauty.... I could easily fall in love
He doesn't see it. I confrontedhim about it... Turns out he's blind to his own shortcomings. Aren't we all? Heh, most of us.
Welcome 2 cell phone blogging. U need 2 fix ur thought patterns if u feel the need 2 be acknowledged 4 doing good deeds.
That girl came in the store again. I still have a crush on'er. She's totally cute! But I'm pretty sure she's not LDS... she smokes. But she's totally CUTE! So I have a huge whatchamacallit dellema on my mind. Durring the last week I saw her a couple times. And it so happens that everytime she comes into the store I get a goofed nervous system. This doesn't happen with ANY other girl. My hands start shaking slightly and they won't stop for about 10 minutes after she's gone. I'm thinking "Dude, what's wrong with me!" hah
But then I went to church last Sunday and at the first glimps of a random beautiful girl at church was just so calming and so positively... felt good, felt right. And it reasured me of my goals. And yet I see that girl again and again and the same effect comes upon me. Why? It's odd. It has to be partly because she reminds me of a friend from childhood. Am I repeating myself? heh
I went to a Momorial Day get together today. It was a lot of fun and I ALMOST didn't go. I was thinking about how important sleep was, but I just went anyway, I thought bottom line if I wanted to sleep some, I could do it there! But that wasn't the case, as always at singles activities, they're always enjoyable; Great people and fun things to do!
I'm going hiking with a girl I happen to be getting aquanted with recently through the singles ward activities and events this coming Saturday. It's gonna be fun because I LOVE to go hiking and I miss it. So yeah, I'm gonna have fun wether I'm pooped or not.
I also got the nerve up-ish to speak with a cute girl I like-ish. haha, I was wandering around the island-like designed backyard and just "happened" to come across her path. She spoke first - as always - "Hi *SumYuhnGai*!", and we chatted.
She's cool, and she too, reminds me of a couple friends from my childhood combined into one person, which is really cool. I think I'll suprise call her up sometime and just chat. Which reminds me that I was looking over a few different cell phones/companies today. I'm trying to find the best plan and deal for me. There are a couple more companies I want to check out before I choose one. It turned out that one of my friends at the party bought the phone I intend to buy. He was fairly new to it, but he said he really liked it - with what short time he's used it. Another man that came into the store I work at told me "It's cool, but it's not worth the price you pay for it." I'm kind of stuck between two phones, one is cheaper than the other but the other more expensive one is more functional. Although, just a little more functional.
Odds 'n ends. Remember the true heroes.
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
I've been writing on a laptop I temporarily borrowed for a while. Here are some of those old thoughts... as well as new thoughts afterwards.
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04-19-06
A fat girl came into the convienient store today. (as said in the manner of Al Bundy, a la Married With Children)
And she was cute.
The End.
What was the moral of the story? Well, that fat girls can be cute. heeh, OK That was just silly.
There is a wide variety of people that come into the store I currently work at. Every type there is. Everything from smelly bums, to beautiful rose scented women (my favorite). It's a facinating job. I stand for eight hours at time watching people come and go - buying heavily over-priced items just because it's "convienient" - the store around the corner. I see all these people - generally nice and well mannered people - and too many of them are wasting their lives away to their stupid addictions - liqor, tobacco, pornography, even caffine saturated drinks! Junk food! All there to please them... waste their money and time.
I can see the POTENTIAL in all of these people!! And they're screwing themselfs out of it! Ways of the world! First hand.
Another thing that suprises me about this job is the connection of the phisical appearance of a person and the additude / voice / outgoing-ness. It's just a surprise once in a while.
And to all the American soldiers that I see every week in the store... thank you... for your service to america, to fight and help free other nations and for protecting us... as well as the many ungreatful fools that lye herein.
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So I'm here listening to Roy Masters on the radio typing up my blog on my brothers newly aquanted laptop. It used to belong to my father, but it turns out that he no longer has a use for it. I remember my brother asking me "Do you want dad's laptop?" I immediately responded with "Nah, I'm gonna buy my own." not thinking that my father was prepared to give it away. But it's a-ok because I have afore mentioned - I currently have aquired it! My brother has been so kind to let me "borrow" it, temporarily. It's fantastic to have the ability to compose music where ever I am - whenever I want. I simply love it.
"To fall in love is to fall away from what love is really about."
-Roy Masters
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05-08-06
I have to write about this, I just can't help it. So many things have happened recently and they seem mundane in comparison to how this little thing has effected me.
I have a crush. And a major one at that, it seems. I thought I got over it, but I saw her again.
A while back, a girl I've known about five years suprised me by showing up to the singles ward I attend. It was a suprise because I haven't seen her in a while and I also didn't realize how old she was, nor to expect her there.
She ended up sitting next to me in class after I showed her around to all the different classes we had. We chatted a bit. And I realized how cute she was... putting aside past differences, she's adorible.
It was break the fast and she didn't join me this time in class... as I was internally hoping she would.
She seemed incredibly nervous during our break the fast dinner as I asked her simple questions. Moving funny... excessively nodding her head as if to fill in the space for a lack of words or thoughts.
"There's nothing here for me now." My mind went blank. I had no idea how to respond. Of course there is more for her here! I just didn't know how to say it. It almost seemed like she was frustrated with something and wanted to move on or away from it.
"Maybe you'll find your fiance here." he said
"I highly doubt it." I just stared at her. Once again blank for words to speak. But I thought, you never know.
After I cought up with her outside she was much more relaxed, we were pretty much alone - along side of others. It was a more relaxed atmosphere I guess. She seemed completely normal now and I walked up to her and I thought "This is probably my last chance to talk to her for a week or longer."
I don't remember how the conversation started... I think I asked her if she drived and after a sway of topics as conversations seem to go, as we talked she kept inching up on me, closer and closer. I was being taken aback and found myself stuck because I was leaning against a pillar. I usually do these such things. Leaning on walls, a door frame, a chair... I felt a small rush through my body as I realized as she was getting closer to me as she got more into her story of visiting another state. I had to focus on her eyes - her beautiful eyes. I always thought she had beautiful eyes, I almost told her once. I should have told her. I would tell her now - that's how much I've changed in my personality since working.
"I... might see you next week. I dunno."
"Take care." I said almost with too much of a proffesional tone to my voice. Hoping I would see her again. With her back to me as she walked away she stopped and thought for a split second and looked over her shoulder and said quietly "You too."
After my initial first crush in over ten years... after getting over it, that is. I seemed to jump from one girl to the next, small crush after small crush. For a total of three anyway. And now it's back to the original girl.
She's a woman I can easily imagine myself waking up beside every morning. Now that's a good thought.
Looking back, she used to like me right from the very beginning. I recall one temple trip we went on as an young adult activity, she was extremely friendly and quite pressing in trying to get to know me. I, being such a shy guy at the time, could hardly eat my ice cream and it slowly melted as she kept talking to me. I don't remember the conversation now. But I do remember fumbling my words and feeling ackward and that inability to eat my icecream. heh
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05-21-06
AHA! A post of random-ness...
I'm home again and I love it. Even though it's even more messy than last week! hahah
I actually felt like cleaning up... and I did, a little, but the internet side-tracked me. Ah well.
I love my home. I love Arizona. But I love to travel too. I'd love to live somewhere else. I want multiple homes. I'm going to get multiple homes. I know it.
My first crush in about ten years didn't show up to church today. I was a little dissapointed and yet a little releived. I don't know how to explain it. I guess that maybe it was the fact I could think about other things than her that gave me a sense of freedom and peace? Yeah. I knew she wasn't going to show. I felt it. I think I didn't show her enough attention last week so she got confused as to show up or not. She says "I don't know anybody here, except you."
"Well, keep coming back and you'll get to know the cool people here." I said.
I think she feels like an outsider. It's the impression I've gotten for a long time. Her being liberal politically when most of our church seems to be conservative. She mentioned not having friends, her job isn't working her much, little things here and there. And now I find out she's moving to California to go to college. And she wants to eventually go to Paris to study! She wants to learn another language to study at school... heh, that just seemed to sound so... bass ackwards. But, it also sounds exciting.
I work two jobs now, did you know? Yep. Maybe I've mentioned it. But, it keeps me busy virtually all day, all week long. I have VERY little time to do anything on my own. And I have to depend on others to help me get to places.
It's not fun. So, I'm going for my drivers liscense VERY soon. Like... tomorrow if possible. hehe
Looking back on my crush weeks, it seems really silly to me know. But it's amazing how much it affected me. One day at work one of my fellow employees came up to me close and said "You don't think about your girlfriend now. Think about work only." He noticed I had already made too many mistakes and he didn't want any more because they directly affected him. hehe, I thought it was so funny that he said that. I guess I was just giving off that vibe.
And to my good friend across the country: I will be praying for you.
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
I love to return to my home... but I hate to leave it. :( Time to go back to work for another week and leave my home in the care of my family. Ahh....
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
Life life life! I think the only thing I hate about being away from my house most often is that I cannot clean... I cannot take care of it! My brother is not, my father is not... I only have two days, very short busy days, to do what I can. My trees are dying without my care... and even under my mothers care - the bamboo plants I named "Feng & Shui" are having a difficult time. But, my mom has a poor record of plant care. *frowns*
I think they want me to talk to them more often. *smile* Maybe I'll read them some Harry Potter.
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
My dad found an MP3 player ... with headphones out in the street! How cool is that?! I've been using it like mad. It's really neat-o. Time to check on my clothes and read some more of the 6th year of Harry Potter before I sleep!
Nighty night.
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
I'm still here, yes indeed. I love my new job. Working two jobs can be a bit of a ... struggle at times. But it's quite enjoyable as well. So many interesting things have happened. I'd love to talk about them all, but I have no time. No time as it is currently to do much of anything besides come home from work lie on my bed in my mums appartment and read Harry Potter for hours on end. Haha! I love Harry Potter! I've just realized how closely it resembles a novel form of some of the best anime out there. Very interesting indeed.
So, yeah, what's with this post you ask? Well, it's sort've a compressed bunch of thoughts just popping in my head so I can have a new post here. Why does it matter? Because I don't want you to think I have abandoned my blog. I have not. I have actually aquired a net-less PC to blog while away from the internet. That's cool and all, but it is not easy to transfer it to my other PC to upload it online. So... ah well.
I went to a birthday party today of a good friend. A lot of people showed up from the singles ward! I was suprised! It was awesome to see them all there in the relaxed atmosphere and I finally got to chat with quite a few of the cute girls. I really don't often get a chance during church - or maybe it's the fact I feel it odd to focus on anything other than lessons durring church. Hm...
That's all for now.
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
Wahoo? I think so. I hope so. It's good pay and a fairly easy.
I'm going to get a Cellphone and my drivers license soon too. I'll be able to drive my self around anywhere I'd like to go.
Saturday morning I went with an old friend and my brother to go see Ultra Violet! It was totally cool. A very stylish simple plot action movie. I loved it, my brother had problems with things in the story and our friend thought it was very cool too.
My brother also rented the Wallace and Gromit movie! It was awesome! After watching this movie I realized how poor Ultra Violet really is... although I still like it. Anyway, Wallace and Gromit is the kind of movie I can watch over and over and over! It's so cute and strange and funny. The last movie I wore out was The Emperor's New Groove. hehe
I was not a fan of the Wallace and Gromit movies or series or whatever it was previously. I think that's the reason why I had trouble getting used to the first 10 minutes of the movie... it was just .... strange. But it progressively became better and better throughout the movie. Which you don't often see in comedy movies...
It looks like I'm only going to get about 5 hours of sleep before work today. That's not good... first day on the job and very little sleep. I'll be fine.
Ah, that girl I mentioned before about her wanting to have more friends and I wanted to talk to her, but didn't. Well I saw her at church today at the singles ward! It suprised me because I didn't expect her there. Immediately when I saw her my eyes lit up and I shouted "Hi!" (I guess it's the whole job aditude thing that is getting me to act on what I think). She waved and said "hey" back. After I went to class and sat down she came up beside me and asked if my mother was going to sit next to me (she saw me talking to her in the hall) and if she could sit. Of course she could... I said "My mom is going to a different class" and I nodded.
"So what's up?" she said.
I shrugged - being my usual response to most people - I didn't want to end it there so I continued... "uhm" and talked about some recent events.
I think it was the most we have talked in a couple years.
After years of just passing by and briefly glancing at her or a short one sentance conversation, it was interesting to sit right next to her and just talk about stuff.
More later.... NO TIME!!!
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
I almost didn't want to update my blog. But I also urged to update it. It seems to be somewhat of a trouble at times. All the preperation that goes into sorting out your thoughts - especially when you have lots to do and don't have a lot of time go about them. I suppose any update is better than nothing.
My father - I love him very much... it was his birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I was the only to give him a gift. I got home around 2am and he was waking up for work I couldn't wait and handed him his present and said happy birthday! Two shirts. MUCH needed shirts. He was wearing ripped up stained shirts before this. Just hasn't took the time to go out and buy some. He was wearing one of the shirts I bought him when we got back from church today. It looked nice on'm.
He was in a moody mood all day. "My birthdays always suck." When we were looking around the movie store for a FREE movie to rent, I went up to him with a smile with new movies "How about this one" He'd glance at it quickly and hand it back "I don't know anything about it..."
"Well' that's why you're supposed to read it." I said in a silly tone. He wasn't interested at all no matter how good the movie looked or sounded. He was aching for something that would make him laugh and ended up renting A Series of Unfortunate Events! I was hoping the movie would be more on the side of funny than "unfortunate"... it was a nice combo of both.
On the ride home from the video store my mother said...
"Your father hasn't been too happy today"
"I know, he wants to be that way, he's choosing to be that way. You can't force happyness on someone... just enjoy the day yourself and show him there is a possibility to be happy and he might follow."
My birthdays weren't all that spactacular! But I enjoyed them anyway! Stick your tounge out at the world (just for a moment) and be happy anyway!!!
That's the way I felt while I was with my dad today. I didn't tell him, I just showed him and my halfway intention worked. He suprised me by returning home with icecream, rootbeer and a nice cake! He was saying stuff like "Alright now we're going to have a celebration." hehehe
We started to watch the movie and it's a great movie! Yep that's all I'm gonna say. Well, except the baby in that movie was adorible! And the scenery was amazing... it was fake looking with a touch of real... or real with a touch of fake... hmm... anyway. My father had to sleep while we watched it. I hope he enjoys it. He seemed to enjoy the little he saw. He went to bed happy.
I visited the writer of that play. He was a very nice guy. We got along and he gave me some very good tips on playing guitar! When he explained a couple things that have pondered my mind I was flabbergasted! It was so easy and awesome to finally be able to pull off these techniques. It's actually been a week since I saw him and I've been practicing a blues chord he taught me. It's totally easy to do and sounds really good.
He informed me a few days ago that I am the core guy for composing the music. He liked the samples I sent'm and handed me the platter. This is awesome! And the fact when we were speaking in person, our minds really were on the same page. The only down side is that I have not been able to do anything yet except prepare my mind and play around with the guitar so far... while he has produced another three full song lyrics.
I'm going to purchase a laptop and a phone with wireless internet access. It's a blessing and a curse for me to be without my PC & the internet... hahah. It'll be so great, small, quiet and I'll be able to compose on-the-go. It's what I need and have wanted forever. I'm actually tempted to buy my fathers laptop from him... and he does want to sell his phone too... hmmmmm...
I'm going to be working a second job if all goes well. It pays well too... maybe I've made mention of this before. I found out that it actually pays more than what my friend gets working as an assistant in the AZ senate. Bit surprising... but I've got to work harder. heh, His job sounds more fun. hehe
But my new future boss is an extremely interesting guy! He always sounds so facinated with every little thing. It just brings a smile to my face because it's like a little child thinking "Oh wow" to all the new and interesting things around him. He's very polite and quite direct, but not in a mean way. I think I'll enjoy working for him.
Hmm, I have been becoming concerned with my health. I haven't noticed my eating patterns before when I didn't have to work. But now it seems I have only been eating two light meals a day. I feel fine. But I want to eat more healthy. All these free pizza's (even with veggies) don't seem that healthy. I miss juicing fresh fruit.
I really have been enjoying my time away from my father and brother. And not in a bad way because I really do wish I was there to help them out in more than one way. It's just that I haven't spent so much time with my mother in such a long time!!! I lived with my mother for about 18 years, my father then bought a house and I just couldn't resist to live in a house! It's wonderful to have a house. So many great things about it. Anyway, it's been nice to actually complete my thoughts. When I speak with my father, he'll usually cut me off before I get to finish and he'll add onto what I am saying or "correct" me. With my mother, I get to just jabber on about anything and everything she'll listen and respond... but she won't always get my point. But at least I don't get criticized for it. I'm very philisophical (did I spell that right? hehe).
At church - I went to the singles ward - we had a munch-and-mingle afterwards and played a silly game. I really enjoyed it and I was obviously invited to FHE (family home evening) after as well. Although, I work durring that time, the girl mentioned that they often play volleyball for hours afterwards and I miss playing volleyball. So I hope to make it - if I feel up to it.
Also while at church - my friend who I formerly worked with noticed me come in (or her friend pointed me out to her) and her head FLUNG around with a big smile! She looked not once, but twice (that I noticed). After the meeting was over she came over and said something along the lines of "You scared me half to death" and other sorts of simular things - repeating herself more than once. I told her, "I didn't come to..." (I almost said 'see you', but I thought that would sound rude) so I finised, "...scare you, I just wanted to come to church." It was a big deal in her head. I guess because I forgot she was going to come over and hand deliver her birthday invitation to me. So instead it was like I was coming to her for the invitation. I told her that I forgot and she seemed a bit insulted and gave me a fake "air slap" for it. hehe
On a side note, there are a lot of really cool and interesting people at the singles ward. I think I'm going to change wards - finally once and for all!
One more thing I just remembered! I voted this week?... Last week? Whenever! I voted recently and it was an awesome experiance. I forgot about it and my father called my work and my boss was nice enough to let me go and vote! (wether she did or not I would have went anyway, hehe) The drive over to vote was so fun because it felt like forever since we talked and we were chatting about lots of different recent events - jumping from one topic to another from one sentance to the next. It felt like a mini family reunion.
Anyway, it was the first poll for us to provide proof of ID before you're allowed to vote. It didn't cause any problems anywhere. Everyone there was very kind - they're always keen on the younger voters it seems. It's true too... it's really sad how many people out there seem to not care about voting - it's so important! I wish the younger people would realize this. And on my way out the woman said to me
"I remember you from last time. When was the last time you voted?" with a smile
"I voted during the last presidential election." (that was my first time voting)
She said, "Oh how great! I want to shake your hand." and she did. It was very interesting, I do not know exactly why she wanted to shake my hand, but it was very friendly. hehe
And even while I did vote and it was a very plesent experiance, I thought that my vote would have made a larger impact than it did. I guess there are too many people out there who are dumbed down by the media - or typical viewpoints programmed into us by schooling or whatever. I was actually in the minority side of the vote. And there didn't seem to be many people voting! So I thought I would have a greater impact. Ah well, I wish I put out a rally or something to sway things a little.
When I returned to work - the FIRST thing that popped out of my "boss's" mouth was "What's with you a voting?" My mouth dropped... I repsonded "What's with you and NOT voting?" And the was the end of the conversation. haha, but I seriously wanted a response. He's barely older than me.
On a final note... our home is still a disaster zone. I hate it... my father hates it. It's one of the main sources for his frustration. He wants me to help out, but I cannot. It really sucks. I want to help out on my days off work but they're not up to it or we're busy doing something else.
The dishes just got washed finally - after two weeks - today because of me. I don't want one of my favorite places in the house turn into a garbage pit. My brother needs to go to work - work on that disipline again. I've only been working for three weeks now and I've noticed a HUGE change in additude on doing "chores".
On a better final note! Roy Masters' has released THREE of his books for FREE on his web site (check link on the right - Foundation of Human Understanding)!! I was going to buy these books!! This is awesome! I can't wait to read'm.
This small intended update ended up larger than I ...intended.
'till next week, goodnight and don't let bad memories haunt you.
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
It was so wonderful. A light drizzle all day long. My trees needed it. hehe
I may be getting a 2nd job soon. Tomorrow, in fact - I hope!
Things to do on my day off:
Call three friends.
Go visit another.
Clean my house.
Fill out job application.
Hmm... I'm sore. My day off seems to be a day of recovery - a sleeping day.
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
I went outside to put my clothes into the dryer and noticed it was raining! Ah the sound of bits of drips hitting the earth and the beautiful fresh cool air. I love it! It's been over 140 days since it last rained here in AZ. The media has been making a use fuss over it. My poor father already in a grumpy mood has to work out in it. If it were me, I'd love it. I remember I walked in the rain one day without any covering. It was so fun! The feeling of freedom was amazing.
Life seems to be moving so fast. But it really isn't - there are always moments to take in and enjoy.
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
To my only reader. HI! Long time no chat, indeedy. My job has been keeping me very busy and very away from my PC. So... why haven't I called? Well I usually get home late and I don't want to wake you. I don't know what your current life style is. I'm thinking I might call you Sunday or Monday just to see what's up. I was supposed to have today off work, but my o-so-nice boss let me work today!
Earyler in the week I saw my schedual and thought "Darnit, they've taken away some of my hours because I worked so much last week." But, I also thought that maybe they would schedual me on a day I wasn't originally schedualed. And it happened!
The funniest thing at work happened today! I don't think it would translate correctly if I wrote it, and I don't have a lot of time to write anyway - I need to wash me clothes and go to sleep! But, it was so funny! My eyes were watery and I couldn't work for a minute... I just sat there and laughed so hard!
Since my job is located a while away from my house I have been spending many nights at my mothers home to save gas and time. It's been nice to be away from the PC - focus on other things - like my guitar! I have been practicing everyday - following a book... still on excersize 1! But at least I figured out how to play the C scale on guitar. hehe
On the flip side - It sucks to be away from my house because I can't help my dad and brother on remodeling our bathroom. It's driving my dad nuts and I asked him some questions about it before he left for work and he snapped at me "If you're not working on it - you don't have a say in it!" OOk. I thought. Then I talked to my brother about the issue and he started to get upset.... "If it's not done HIS way then I don't have an opinion on it!"
"Then do it his way."
"I can't because (I'm sleeping all day)".
"So, don't get angry about it."
"How? You can't do that unless your a mindless robot."
"Yes you can. Don't react to him."
................. He doesn't believe me.
I stepped inbetween an argument of two strangers a few weeks ago. It was a young man (older than me) and an old woman (deffinitely older than me). The young guy, I'll call him "Mullet" went right up to the old womans face, I'll call her "Witch", and shook his finger at her, yelling and cursing about her stealing something from him. I just stood afar listening. And Witch was suprizingly snapping back at him!! This little old lady... had a BIG additude problem. She seemed to think she was invincible by the choice of words she was using...
"I feel like quitting because of you, you old hag!!"
"Fine! Go ahead!"
Mullet kept walking away and then returning to her face a couple times and I was seriously getting concerned because when you point your finger RIGHT in another persons face... you're ready to hit them. So on his next walk away another woman, err... I'll call'er "biker chick", said to the man "Yeah, Just keep on walking buddy". Now this is the sort of thing that kept Mullet going right back to Witch! She would react to what he said, yell at him as he walks away, "oh no!" mullet thinks... "I'm getting the final word!" They both wanted to be right. And he was progressively getting more angry.
"Uh oh" I thought to my self... now I must say, I was extremely calm and focused durring the entire incident up to this point (and beyond). The whole situation was just silly. And I honestly felt they were both in the wrong. They were both extremely emotional - and now a bystanding woman has sided with the woman. Not that it's wrong of her to try and assist the supposed weaker one - sure physically, yes - but they were both reacting just the same. They were both wrong from my view. But now the man is being ganged up on and that could make'm feel even more angry... so I slowly walked over to Witch while I had the chance and told her calmly with my hands up... "Miss... please, stop. Just stop antaganizing him."
"He's crazy!" she said with a horrible face. In that moment it was as if I could see the real woman within her... I've seen her around before but I've never talked to her... she seemed nice... but in this moment... all that "niceness" was gone - just a face for everyone.
And I walked away. That's all I wanted to say to her and to show the man he was not alone. And they confronted no more durring the time I was there.
That's not a smart thing to do - what I did. If it were to young punks I wouldn't care. But it was different - it was an old woman and a young guy. They needed to stop. And as I watched it was as if I could see through it all. I've seen these arguments happen before in my own home. And I could understand EXACTLY where these two where coming from. So I handled it the way I have in my own home. But it seemed to have a bigger impact coming from a stranger. I hope those two are a-ok now.
Back to my job...
Everyday I come home and my hands smell like a mixture of meats and veggies... it's odd. I guess I could wear gloves. But, they're not the right type of gloves for cooking...
The next Elder Scrolls game is coming out this month! I can't wait to buy it. I'm a huge fan of The Elder Scrolls series.
Things in the play I may help compose a score for are progressing very quickly. It's quite amazing and I should be going to meet my fellow composers in person this week. The writer is producing very quality works very fast. He believes he is being inspired by God. Could be, but I think he's being inspired by scripture. Either case, I'm really getting excited about this. He has even offered to teach me some nice tips on playing guitar.
Ah! Even though I forgot to bring my notes of blog thoughts... I seemed to remember a lot from my major happenings the past few weeks.
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
I got an invitation to assist composing a play about the life of Jesus!
My favorite place in my house is clean - The kitchen!
My pay check should be coming soon!
And I get free food! (I just love throwing that in there)
Big boss man came into work today. I've been hearing about him ALL week. Especially when my managers would tell me "Don't do it this way - big boss man would yell at your for it!" Well, it turned out he didn't! He was a very considerate nice and helpful man! He even complimented my works more than once. But, IT happened... I made a mistake. He came over to me and very gently told me "You've gotta do it this way because..." I was like "Oh, ok, no problem!" I was told to "do it this way" before, but never recieved the explaination why. So, now I shall. It seems things stick out in your mind a little more clear when you know the "why". It's easy to forgoe little details when you're in a hurry. Even he didn't follow everything to a "T". Anyway, big boss man was a cool guy.
My Grandmother called to congratulate me on my new job. I've been wanting to call and thank her for the card she sent me for my birthday. It is a great card. I love it. ..."where is it?" *looks around* ... "AH! I lost it!" ... "Ah! I found it!" hehe
It says: "All about GRANDSONS. On BIRTHDAYS, some get neckties, some get cakes, some get kisses, some get shakes, some get parties, some get cheers... but YOU get nicer through the years! Happy Birthday, Grandson! Love you always, your Grandmother."
On the drive home I got into a disscussion with my mom on the "worth" of a person. I was reading to her one of my favorite books when we got to a standstill when the author mentioned a person's "net worth" and "THIS man is worth billions of dollars". She doesn't like the sound of "oh, that man is worth millions of dollars". I personnally don't have a problem with it because... he is. Although, I can clearly see the difference that a single person is priceless. If that person had millions of dollars, yes you can "assign" a price value TO them. Because it's true, they are worth millions - in material items or cash. Lets say that the million dollar person was sued and all their millions was taken away. Now they are WORTH NOTHING... in material possesions! It doesn't change the fact that THAT human being, full of ideas, personality, unique traits and creativity - being a millionaire or a hundredaire *laughs* - is priceless.
Just because a person can be deemed "worth millions" doesn't mean the person is "worth nothing" if they do not have millions of dollars. That's obvious! And we see it everyday when other people go out of their way to risk their own life to save anothers. What I don't get is how can a person clearly see this fact and yet still be insulted when another human being will say "Oh, you're worth nothing because you have nothing". Why would that matter if you KNOW that is not true. *shugs*.....
More later on composing the play as I get the details... if I agree to do it, that is.
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
Even though, all I had to eat for breakfast was toast. I was awarded with a full free meal afterwards and the best tasting pepsi I've ever had. It didn't dawn on me until now that maybe the fact the pepsi tasted sooo good was that I was soooo hungry.
I asked for more hours and they're giving it to me! I have been successfull at being a great employee - my boss said I'm doing a "kick a$$ job". It's a seriously fun place to work, I'm really enjoying it. My mom used to tell me how it was a great place to work but, I didn't believe her at the time. I wish I had started working there a few years ago. I probably would be a manager by now. The other day I was showing my managers how to properly prepare one of the food items! It was so funny for us all. I keep thinking: "In time, I shall be CEO." *laughs*!
Since I'm the cook I get full control of the radio and the TV they have there (yeah! There's a radio AND a TV!). *laughs*, I didn't know how to change the station on the radio and I pushed some keys and then a spanish talk show came up! My manager asked me "What station do you want?" I said "...well", and pushed a button and got another crazy spanish talk show - it was so hilarious - the guy was making some very funny noises over and over! Kind of like a mixture of the spanish R-sound with a "yeeee" and a "whaaaa!". He kept it up for about 10 seconds. Then she showed me how to change it. I got to listen to some conservative talk radio during work! (hey the other day everyone got to watch a gay episode of The Simpsons! *laughs*) One of my fellow employees noticed what was on the radio and asked me "Do you like George Bush like your mother does?" I suspected he didn't like him, I wasn't sure. I just shrugged and said "He doesn't do everything I'd like him too". And the man looked at me like 'Oh, I guess I don't get to argue" and said no more. I told my mom later and she laughed and said "He probably wants to argue with you like he does me". So I was happy because I don't want to argue with anyone about politics. The way I see it is neither side - Democrat nor Rebublican - can please you all the time.
I'm registered independant. And I don't know where my voters registration card is! ACK! *laughs*
I haven't been able to do all the things I want to lately - and I like it. Yeah, that's odd. But, before I had the ability and the time to do everything I wanted - and I didn't do it. I had very little desire or motivation. Even though I WANTED to, I didn't REALLY want to - I'd rather waste some time playing a videogame or something. Now that I have very little time to work on personal projects, I really enjoy the fact I truely DESIRE to work on them! Forget the videogames! It's a good feeling. *laughs*
'Kind of shocking how much time a part time job uses up.
Got cancer? This is an interesting article. Read it now because it's only going to be there for a week or maybe longer...
I love great quotes:...
- "[It is]... pride that causes people to deny the truth that they are slaves of sin."
- "Ultimately, this country will have to decide what it wants to be: a society based on traditional values or a society built on the sands of moral relativism where anything goes--and usually does. As we know, the latter path leads to death and destruction, and Christians cannot stand idly by."
- "If we are caught up in the cares of the world--whether the hustle and bustle of a shopping center or the maddening traffic of modern big-city freeways—it is easy to forget that the Spirit is with us." -Roy Masters.
My father is becoming increasingly angry with my brother lately for his lack of action. My brother was awake all night learning misc. programming languages and forced himself to go to church. And while I was out helping my dad a little with the house work he said "Go get your brother out here. I don't want any excuses, he should be helping us." I knew he wasn't coming out because on the way out of my home I heard he was going to sleep. Yes, he should help out more, but not when he's rediculously tired. And he has helped out around the house... just not enough in my father's view. o_O
Well the 40 hour download of the Everquest 2 trial was worth it! I played for a few hours today - I originally wanted to sample it - but I couldn't stop playing! Instantly it reminded me of my favorite MMORPG, Ryzom. After playing it for a while I noticed quite a few other MMORPG games it reminded me of such as, Guild Wars, Anarchy Online, Runescape, Phantasy Star Online and a couple of the free ones. So far (I'm still on newbie island) it's been a very fun MMORPG... my new favorite! I never thought I'd enjoy the infamous "Everquest". It has a lot of great elements that make it simple to play with a bit of strategy. It also has beautiful graphics - even though the characters look kind of ugly, like early CG work, which I enjoy because I remember the days when I thought "Oh I can't wait until videogames look like that when you play them!". The only downside thusfar is the lack of players on the server. It felt empty, like I was playing a Singleplayer game even though I see some players running by me once in a while. It feels like a disconnected connectedness. If that makes any sense. Each person to their own. Doing their own thing... just another leveling game. But, what I enjoyed so much about the MMORPG Ryzom is the world! It was just so fun to wander around, explore, harvest and fight the interesting creatures. And that's why I like this game so much, so far. It feels the same way... I just enjoy exploring the world! The added bonus was the community was very friendly! I'm hoping it will remain the same when I get off of newb isle.
Today in church I had a sense of urgency and seriousness to get my patriarical blessing, and soon. I think it was the most serious I've ever felt at church. Maybe it was more of a "focusing". I felt very calm, sure and dedicated. It seems everytime after church I want to meditate, rest and relax. I always stay in the car outside my house for a few minutes and think - about the lessons about my current plans and whatever else crosses my mind. It is very relaxing.
Our home teacher came over today without his companion, he couldn't get in contact with him. That's no biggie to me. I always enjoy having our home teacher over. He's a very nice and cool guy. I feel sorry for him in one way because my father likes to talk a lot and so he'll get around to telling a long story or just expressing himself and our home teacher will just sit there and patiently listen to him. It seems we always make him late for his next home teaching session. hehe, but come to think of it, he's the only person that comes inside our house! We must be starving for visitors. haha
I didn't end up talking to that girl I had a dream about. I kept thinking... "What was it I wanted to tell her?" And then I got distracted by the lesson... well, more likely I was being distracted by thinking about her. She is a very pretty girl. She glanced over at me quite a bit, but maybe it was because I was looking at her so often. heh
Always another day.
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
Today at work was funny (I wasn't even scheduled today, but got called in!) because one of my bosses (we have around 4 in the same store! haha) was in a hurry with work and kept telling me as he was working "You're not supposed to do it this way, but it's ok because we're in a hurry" over and over! It was so funny. "I'll teach you how to do it right when we aren't so busy."
He also left me alone for a few minutes and I didn't have any guidance to make sure I was doing everything correctly. But, I decided to go ahead because I felt I had enough instruction to do it all by myself, albeit, slowly. And when he got back he told me I did a good job! Later on in the day he gave me a compliment card that said "Great job for catching on so quickly! Totally!" hehehe. Whoever gets the most cards in a month gets a special award. It could just be a picture on the wall or something silly. But it's fun.
I watched I,Robot again, after not seeing it since we bought it, last night. Such a cool movie! After watching it I put on the commentary and fell in a comfortable sleep. Word. I mean, wierd. I want to watch it again. I thought my movie watching spree days were over.
Last week, a girl I know said to her parents while glancing at me "Well, I finally have some friends here for once!" And I had a dream about it last night. Basically I approached and asked her about it in the dream. I guess I've been thinking about approaching her in real life and asking her. This happens to me a lot. I tend to dream about anything I've on my mind.
I've been wanting to become friends with her for a long time. When I think back to when we first met, she was aggressively interested in being friends. But we had a few political dissagreements when we were younger. I've grown a lot since then... she appears to have as well. I'm hoping we could actually talk about politics in a reasonable manner... without getting angry. hehe I know I can. I might ask her today.
When do I get my first paycheck?! I keep forgetting to ask. Whoohoo! It'll probably be about $5 or something. haha
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
It was slightly faster pased than I first anticipated and yet remained fun. I was basically getting used to how things are run. The day after coming out of orientation and I realized a simple - but noteworthy - fact. A lot of the people sway from the rules... just a tad. It was funny. I felt almost like fresh meat who just recieved proper training and it was my job to remind everyone else how things were to be done.
But, at the same time I still have a lot to memorize in order to do the job without anyone elses assistance. The first hour was a bit "whoa". The next few hours were quite easy and I was thinking "I'll have this down in no time". hehehe
The managers (note: there were four in the same store!...) have a very cool special privilege. They could title their name-tags with cool nicks like Cracker and Big Dog! Heh, I want to become a manager just for that! haha
It still appears that there is not too much required by the job. And yet, all these simple things are SO IMPORTANT to run things smoothly and make the customer happy.
The managers definitely have a laid-back fun attitude while working. I saw quite a few humorous incidents I won't mention here - on my first day. The manager said a couple times "Hey, we should set a good example here for the new guy on his first day! *laughs*"
My brother started learning the BASIC programming language. He let me glance through it and I could see it's simplicity and simularities compared to C++ programming. He wants to start programming some simple Atari style games and go from there. I think it's a great idea - but I'm more geared towards learning Flash game programming. It seems quite capible of doing a lot with nice flashy graphics. I guess that's why they called it Flash. heh
On the way to work today I was thinking about an old story idea I haven't fully fleshed out and I thought up some more ideas as well as a way to connect this story to two seperate stories! I'm really excited about the idea of turning them into a trilogy.
Lindt 70% dark chocolate is the best!
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
Yeah baby! It was easy, lots of fun and I got paid for it! How cool?! Way cool!
I got free food and watched videos and learned a lot of new great skills required by the job. I'm totally getting excited over this little job. There is so much more to it than I originally thought. I realized - even as capible as I am at learning - that I was lacking lot of customer service skills. Or, maybe it's the simple fact that this company cares more for the customer than the company I previously worked.
It was the teachers first time teaching! So the environment was very laid back and easygoing. My mother said that these people almost always have that attitude. Which is cool.
Anyway, time for sleep. I have more training tomorrow!
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
Wow, it's been a long time since I've done that. The whole anger in the argument was stupid. My father came to a personal realization - one of those "ah-ha!" moments I love so much. And I didn't entirely agree with what he was saying. I wanted to challenge some of his viewpoints... and he wouldn't let me. And I kept trying and he still cut me off - overspoke me as I tried to overspeak him. It is an aweful thing to do. Very disrespectful. I gave up - a couple times. I just wanted him to understand my viewpoint. He said I insulted him - calling him stupid. And I said nothing of the sort - nor would I. It was just his feelings of my disagreement towards his "ah-ha!" moment that hurt his pride, he wanted to be right, and thus he felt insulted - AS IF I insulted him directly.
And on the flip-side, he did insult me. Clearly and directly - multiple times. I told him it was very disrepectful and I did not appreciate it at all. It's not my father is a bad person. He's not. (read below)
It's just that I became overly emotionally involved - I couldn't look at it objectvely Oh? That's normal you say? I "suppose" it is, but it shouldn't be. Everyone - almost everyone - is too emotionally involved in EVERYTHING! STOP IT you fools. (I'm talking to myself here too hehe)
I went off to meditate in a rage of frustration. My mind was running rampant with stupid things your mind does when your angry. Well, in my case it was nothing evil towards my father. It's not in my nature, but I did have feelings of "I don't care anymore". And on and on my mind went with carrying on the conversation - or - what could have happened. It's a pretty useless thing to do, in my opinion. But it helped me with something. I thought up something aweful and almost felt like screaming and breaking things - at that moment I recalled the last time I "tried out" my anger to see what it was like. I didn't like it then, and I never wanted to do it again - including this time - My father needed his sleep. Then it just hit me...
Oh - my - word! There are people in this world going through things I just thought - and worse. Your mind is such a powerful thing. I could feel as if I was in that situation - without fully breaking down. And in an instant of this understanding all the anger towards my father evaporated. I felt so blessed and happy. So greatful and comforted! I wanted to explain this to my father - but he's asleep. hehe
I realized how simpleton the situation was. It was clear to me now - as it should have been while it was happening.
And now that I look back on it I don't care what he said. I'll always love'm. The big goof. ^_^ hehe
This shouldn't happen. There was something off today, I noticed it early on. We accomplished a lot, we cleaned up our backyard and had a great time doing it too! I listened to the entire God Forbid - Constitution of Treason album and I felt like I was on a power trip. I had an illusion of power because of this music durring the later portion of my day. It was cool in one way, but strange in another. I think it had something to do with my foggy headed-ness.
I have a recent saying: "My father is good practice... of testing my patience"
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
I had a dream this afternoon before heading off to church. In the dream I was coming out of a church building carrying an open box of things I wasn't too sure of. I was concerned about getting to my ride in the pouring rain. Before I reached the mini-van I set the box on the ground and hopped inside the van. It was then I realized I left my dog IN the box OUT in the rain!! I hopped back outside and grabbed my dog and ran back to the van. I felt so sorry for leaving this cute little white and fuzzy dog out there. How could I forget?! It was shivering in my arms as I cuddled it to help it warm up. I felt it's mouth brush my forarm as it tucked it's head under it. It was so soft and warm and cute and fuzzy and little!
The dream was very vivid and I have kept thinking about that dog all day...
The BEST pizza in Arizona - hands down! Raphael's Pizza! Real Itallian pizza! It tasted like REAL pizza. My dad heard a commercial for it on the radio and decided the other day we should go check it out. We barely found the place because it's quite hidden and a very small resturaunt. After pushing past the rather old used and abused door I approached the counter and I see two young people and two old people. The old people were cooking the food, they looked Itallian too. And young man with a husky/raspy voice comes up to us and my father goes about his usual questions and jokes at news places, including "If this food isn't any good, we know where you work! *laughs*" hahah. He was questioning whether that was a bad idea after we left.
We got an all pepperoni, half onion, half olive large pizza. Two of the huge slices was enough for me. It was delicious and I didn't feel weird afterwards like I would after eating a lot of Pizza Hut pizza.
My friend got back from his Austrialia mission this week. It was good to see him again and we chatted for a bit. I could hear a slight accent in his voice! And a few people at church were teasing him about it. hehe
I remember the testimony he shared in the Elders quorum before he left - and after hearing his testimony after two years of missionary work - wow. There's a big difference, and I thought he had a very good testimony at the beginning.
My brother found two really cool free MMORPGs! One is Shot-Online, a free golf based MMORPG and the other is FlyFF (Fly For Fun) which is a hack 'n slasher. Maybe more on them later.
My new job... well it's not official - yet. I have to go in tomorrow and fill out some more paperwork and then it shall be. They are only going to work me two days a week - which sucks. Ah, well. It's better than nothing. I don't think I'll work there very long. But I need something now, so it'll do. I just need something to get me started - I have better options in the future.
I've been avoiding my IM proggies.
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
It could be so! The other day my mother called me and said her boss was freaking out because he is the only cook currently. What does that mean? It means he needs cooks and quickly! Supposedly I was "un-officially officially" hired the other day. Today I went in to fill out the application and everything should be on it's way soon. I'd prefer to work at the initial business that called - they pay more and it's closer to me - but, it's ok. Now it's all about who's faster at hiring! hehe
Is this a "the meaning of life" question?
What's more dangerous and why?
1) A 9mm handgun. Cocked and fully loaded.
or
2) A pack of cigarettes and a lighter.
They're both inanimate objects - A reasonble mind can look at a gun and know it's dangerous.
Obvious answer: The gun is an immediate danger - A cigarette is a long term danger.
Not so obvious answer: It is the impulse that moves the hand, that is the real danger. What is it that drives a person to pickup a gun... to smoke a cigarette? The impulse.
How does this answer the meaning of life? I dunno, you think about it.
-----
I started a 14 day trial of the online MMORPG (massively multi-player online roleplaying game) EVE Onilne the other day and I played a few hours today. It's quite a fascinating game - It appears to be a very social game. I like the analogy on the web site:
"One could compare this to the difference between a playground, such as EVE, and a theme park, which would be the traditional MMOG. In a playground you have access to different kinds of toys and rides, and you are allowed to use your own imagination to figure out how to create games you enjoy. In a theme park all the rides have been created for you and are either good or bad by design. The playground clearly offers more freedom but it requires you to think and be an active participant, while the theme park has taken those responsibilities away from you and you can just go with the flow."
As well as being fascinating, it's enjoyably simple in gameplay, but in terms of depth of features and exploration, it's quite complex! It's a good combination.
I'm really enjoying my haircut.
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
She (the interviewer) hasn't called me back. Is this a sign of poor management? Nor have I recieved a response from the puppy owner lady/person. :-\ ...errrr....
To be continued.
In other news, I found out there was a library very close to me! I always wanted to visit the library but the one I always used to visit was to far away. So, I'm happy. The first visit to a library in many, many months and I went bonkers! I was completely taken by suprise because it was a small branch and I thought there wouldn't be anything good in there. But, I found a lot of good music CDs I never knew the library would carry! How awesome! As I browsed the entire shelf of CDs for theatrical scores I found suprise after suprise and my stack became larger and larger. A young man came up along side of me and said...
"Heh, how are you?"
"Oh, hey, I'm goin' a bit nuts here." with a big 'o smile. Little did I know, he worked there and ended up checking out my items. hehe
I ended up with 10 CDs, 3 books and 1 DVD. If I didn't restrain myself I would have gotten more. o_O
I used to think "Why do I need a library when I have the internet?"
Well, that question was answered this day. I found quite a few good complete resorces of information. When I browse the internet for information, I find that it's quite scattered and difficult to find an all-in-one source for information. I'm feeling I'll be a frequent visitor to the library.
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
I got a haircut for the interview! No more long hair for me. And it looks good; Better than my last short haircut; I really like it.
So, I've only been to three interviews in my life. Everyone of them got me nervous. It's silly, but I started to calm down more during the interview. It was very relaxed and held outside the business. She only asked me a few questions and mostly talked about how they run the business. I was thinking, wow, I must be close to getting this job. Well, that was partly true. She needs people immediately, but I must go through a second interview with the district manager in order to finalize the deal to see if I'm "their type of person". I think I'll be a lot more calm and open during the second interview because I'll know what to expect.
The last interview I had was almost a year ago... so I've been a little out of practice. But, this got me up to speed fast and I have a "for dummies" book on interviewing that helps out with little things that might have made me fluster a bit.
She's going to call me back tonight or tomorrow.
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
Yes! I was getting ready to head out the door and return my birthday movie to the store and I just couldn't do it. I wanted to go outside and apply to work at every local store while I was at it - but something was holding me back. I just wandered about my house thinking "What should I do? What do I need to do?". There was a feeling inside me of 'what am I missing?'. So I waited and watched my brother play the demo of The Movies PC game. It's a pretty cool little game. I got bored of watching and headed on over to the TV and I spotted a house remodeling show. I love these shows and as I while I was captivated by the show, the phone rang. I thought it was my mother because I tried to call her earlyer about the movie. She only watched half of it and I found out that it doesn't go back until tomorrow. The voice on the other end of the line turned out to be someone else. I immedietely thought it was a wrong number because we don't get calls often from anyone. But nope! It was a store I applied at and they want me to go in for an interview tonight! AHAHA! YAY! I got a call! How cool. hehe (can you tell I'm new to this?)
So, I'm headed out to get a haircut and purdy up for my interview. hahaha
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
That's what I heard my father say over the phone after hearing three distinct "tink" sounds. The following moment of silence was steadily becoming scary.
"Dad?... Dad? ...Dad?!"
After getting no response I started to get worried. My emotions started to overtake me - and this doesn't happen often. I was nowhere near to be considered out of control, but it was enough that I decided take back my mind and calm myself down.
He was called out on a job site yesterday and got to keep it the following two days - if the site was still open - and it happened to be.
I didn't know where he was located. All I knew, it was somewhere in Scottsdale.
I thought to myself,
"What could I do if he was hurt? If I didn't get a response soon I would call the police and give them his cell number and hope they can track it somehow."
But, I had a stronger hope that if my father was hurt he would have enough ability to help himself out.
I hear a bit of shuffling and a second later he said,
"Some kids just shot my car with a paintball gun, ... I'll call you back."
I was nervous. What if it wasn't a paintball gun? No, it had to be. My father is a smart and observant man. And so I waited in a nervous fear and prayed to my Heavenly Father to help protect and assist him in this moment. Then I thought I'd give him five minutes and call back.
I did and the phone was busy. He was probably calling the police about the incident.
Under ten minutes later he called back. It was the case. He chased the funkers down and got their plate number - he told me they looked scared as he was driving right along side their car and looking into their eyes - called the cops and went back to the site.
I hope the cops confiscate their paintball gun. These guns hit hard and have a huge possibility for causing a lot of damage. They're not toys to be played with in this manner. I hope the cops fine'm or put'm in jail for a night for damaging property. As well as scaring the hell outta me - but that's ok because now there's only Heaven left. :-)
A lot went through my mind in these few short moments. I'm glad it's all ok.
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
I've been using my brothers Wacom tablet on my PC again because his USB port burned out. It's SO nice. It feels so natural and easy to use compared to a typical mouse. It's a joy to use the PC this way. And the best news is that when my brother buys a bigger, better one he'll let me have his old small tablet. Yay!
I went to Hollywood Video today to get a free movie rental for my birthday! I walked all around the new releases for something I've been wanting to see and I came across George A. Romero's Land of the Dead. I usually like to rent movies that I'm not sure I want to purchase, so this one I had mixed feelings on - even though I enjoy zombie movies - I wasn't sure if I wanted to own it. I'll probably buy it eventually because I really did enjoy it. It's definitely a crazy zombie movie! It had a lot of funny moments and a lot of gruesome ones too. It always feels wierd to laugh at something that is so over the top but still shocking. While watching the movie there was a line said by John Leguizamo; Something about pulling a Jihad on the corporate guy. It made me think of real-life terrorism and I recalled the moment when I watched some terrorists literally saw off Nick Berg's head with a machete. I watched it because I wanted to see what they were capable of as well as to see if it was real. It didn't make me sick... but I've never felt such an almost un-controllable un-easy, nervousness and anger for such a period of time before. The video quality wasn't great, but you could make out enough details to see what was happening. I don't even want to think about it. But, everytime I do, I'm amazed at how stupid humans can be and are. It's so disturbing how blind these people are.
My father kept apologizing to me all day. He felt sorry that he cannot afford a gift for me on my birthday. And actually this has been one of my most enjoyable birthdays. I didn't do anything special or out of the ordinary. I think I feel this way partly because of my own personal accomplishments as well as just enjoying the simple things I have received from my friends and family. I really like the fact I feel a little wiser at the beginning of my birthday as opposed to the end. My official celebration will be on Sunday with brownies and ice-cream!
Painkiller is a-w-e-s-o-m-e. It reminds me of the days before I had a computer and the reason why I wanted one. ie: Doom. hehe
...I got balloons too. :-) -_^ - Thank you all my friends and family (my Grandmother just called to wish me a happy birthday!) for contributing to my birthday - adding to my happyness with the little things you do.
On a final note - My uncle from Oregon just called as I was about to shut-down my PC. I thought he was calling to wish me a happy birthday, turns out he just wanted someone to talk too. It was good to speak to him again because last time he called - about 4 months ago - he wanted my father to call him back and we didn't have his number. I felt bad about that. But I got his number this time!
He once again offered me a job because I, as of yet, lack one. He wants to start a turbocharger business. I know nothing about turbochargers. He told me that he'll teach me about'm and let me run the whole business. I thought, cool, this is exactly what I want; to run a business. It really doesn't matter what the business is, as long as I make it successfull. Plus, if I assume correctly, I want to get into car modding (hint: movie, Fast and the Furious) and I think turbochargers are in that catagorey.
But on the flip-side. I get a feeling he just wants an income without having to do much work. I don't blame him. I think my father wants the same thing. I don't mind working, I just don't want to be a slave. Not that I would be.
If I run a business, I'm going to run the business.
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
I just woke up - earlier than I expected given how late I went to bed - and I walk into my living room and see this!
How cool?! I haven't had one of these since... Well I don't remember the last time I had one!
Now who wants a fresh grapefruit, lemon, orange juice? I do!
I'm still looking for a job, so I'm going to try and apply at two places today. I need to go for a walk as well. I didn't get to walk yesterday.
Still no reply from the puppy owners. But I have been getting a lot of automated "Happy birthday!" e-mails from web site forums I forgot I signed onto. And my friends fiance sent me an e-card saying "Happy naked day!" because we are born naked. I thought it was hilarious. Thanks Fely!
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
Hmm... I turn 23 tomorrow and I'm now making this my official blog. I like the interface better and I have more options here.
For my birthday my mom let me go on a $20-ish shopping spree! haha, it was fun. I went to my favorite entertainment store to browse the selection of goods. And it just so happens everything appears lackluster - well, anything within a $20 price range. hehe
After running around to all my favorite sections of the store I was mentally choosing possible final choices. I ended up with three items in my hands. A videogame, a movie and an album.
1) Painkiller Black Limited Edition DVD - Awesome video game I've wanted for a very long time.
2) Children of Heaven - Wonderful, adorible foriegn film!
3) Morcheeba album - Great new downtempo band I discovered!
I went with the game because I've seen the movie and heard the music before. The game was new and would provide me with more hours of entertainment in the way of being a controlable movie with lots of new heavy metal music. hehehe
As of writing this blog I recieved a I.M. greeting from a friend I met on the Internet from another friend. She wants to make ammends with her friend. But from the sound of it, she didn't even know she had to. I don't want to get into the details right now. I just need to remember to make mention of this to my friend.
I could be a puppy owner soon! I'm talkin' with someone who's dog just had 11 puppies! A part labrador/mix. I would love to have a pet dog. I've wanted to have one for such a long time. But, I'm truely ready to have one now. I guess that sounds silly when you're turning 23 but I've matured slowly in some respects. Mainly... self disipline. (and I was studying various forms of martial arts in the beginning of my life... go figure)
So, when the owners replied to my e-mail and offered to send pictures, I gladly responded
"Yes I would love that! Send the pictures please, but no nude pups (haha)." in a joking manner.
And it so happens I didn't get a response the following two days. I was thinking that they're either getting the dogs dressed up for the pictures or they didn't like my joke. So today I sent another email asking about the pictures once again and clarifying my joke about the puppies, because puppies, as far as I know don't have fur when they're born. I thought it was funny.
I got a response later that evening. They told me that they sent the pictures and didn't get the address correct! That's what I get for having a silly e-mail address. *whew* I still have a chance here. hehe
A few days ago I truley felt so peaceful in my own home. I believe it was the first time I felt more peaceful inside my home compared to how I usually am more peaceful outside. Before this I had moments of stillness in certain areas of my home and only at certain times. But, I think it has something to do with a fan. I'll investigate this further.
The change of my blog signifies a change in my life. I'm changing for the better. I'm going to make myself wealthy enough to live at a comfortable level where I have the ability to use my time to help others where I can. What do I want to do with my life? I'm not entirely sure. But I have a few routes planned to travel.
Until later... this is Sum Yuhn Gai's Life.
// SygLyfe - A signature of life // ©
You scored as Psychology. You should be a Psychology major!
What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3) created with QuizFarm.com |
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